The Pink&Purple Room

Music

2010-12-06T01:01:00.002-06:00

I had a concert last Thursday. And it hurt.

My heart was ripped

in two.

Shredded by dissonance

and complexity,

That I didn't get to be a part of.

I sang carols,

they sang beauty and

sadness

and

intensity.

Please, make it stop.

I don't want the pain

of remembering

what it was like

to be

top.

Take Comfort

2010-11-03T15:34:00.002-05:00

Jeremiah 31: 3-4

I have loved you with an everlasting love;
I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.
I will build you up again,
and you, Virgin Israel, will be rebuilt.
Again you will take up your timbrels
and go out to dance with the joyful.

Life is hard. It isn't always fun. But He will ensure you get through it all. Even walking around campus in the pouring rain.

Finally

2010-07-14T23:56:00.002-05:00

I've learned a lesson this past year. A rather important one that keeps me up past the witching hour and beyond. Some people are not meant to be your friend forever. Some, at the time, seem to be your match made in heaven. It just isn't true. And I learned that some people I will love forever, but for the most part, people are dispensable. No one wants to say the rather harsh truth, but it can't be denied. I'm almost happy I learned this lesson at such an important part of my life because I can now leave those that ultimately don't matter behind me. I'm ready to stop fretting. I'm moving past those that I clash with. I'm done.

All Wrapped Up

2009-08-21T00:50:00.002-05:00

Officer's meeting/party/bitchfest was simply delightful. We're a fun bunch. Though, I totally got lost in the maze of townhomes that are in that area.

Tomorrow is the big counsellors lunch. I just baked all the breadsticks, they smell delicious. I only ate one. I swear, just two. Really, just three. I dressed them up a bit, no one likes a bland breadstick.

I went to Toys 'R' Us for the first time in my entire life today with Jonathan. I was overwhelmed. I think I may want to play with Barbies again. Stupid plastic. Then we went to Olive Garden. Yum. Old people stared at us. No clue as to why, maybe because my laugh is obnoxiously loud?

I wear a size 9.5 in TOMS. Now I just have to fanagle myself a pair.

Choir people make me feel all warm and cozy. They make me smile, and laugh, and curse just like good friends should.

I know I seem a bit scatterbrained, but I'm tired and our alteration lady poked me about a billion times with pins today. Pick-up next Thursday! Don't let me forget!

Priceless Picks

2009-08-20T01:27:00.002-05:00

I have a brand new obsession. Not only does it involve my iPhone, it involves my favorite bit of plastic. Priceless Picks is a pretty nifty app from MasterCard that allows you to find that perfect cup of coffee or that one bench at the park that is just meant for reading a good ol' romance novel and tag it. Then, when you're somewhere, looking for a pick-me-up, you just look around you for what other people have tagged. I'm obsessed. I've tagged three things in one day.

On another note, I'm slowly getting ready for senior year. I'm ready to see my friends, ready to finish Invisible Man, and ready to get a move on with the decisions that'll impact my life forever and ever.

Heavy.

Have a great Thursday! Mine will be filled with a certain mexican, an evil asian lady with pins, and a certain Hittmaker.

Prudish To A Point

2009-08-12T23:38:00.003-05:00

I am not a prude. I am not a prude. I am not a prude.

Sometimes.

But, I saw this little thing and I thought it'd be fun, or at least more fun than reading Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison.

Rules:

- Write 5 things that make you feel sexy
- Post a pic (only IF you dare)
- Pass it on to 5 lovely bloggers (Which I'm not doing.)

1. Monokinis. They are so sexy, without showing so much skin you want to hide in a cabana all day. I have a lovely hot pink one that Raina helped me pick out and it has gotten a surprising amount of use this summer.

If I had the body, I'd wear this one!

2. Heels. I'd wear heels everyday. I love them. The only minor problem with being a germaphobe in heels, you end up touching hand rails that disgusting and germy high schoolers touch all day. So, I opt out most days, but I really do love them. I spent an entire afternoon in the spring looking for purple heels for a dress, I couldn't find a single pair! Now, they're all the rage for fall! Here are an especially cute pair!

3. Apple products. I find them sleek and just...oh, so perfect. I'll take one of these for graduation!

4. A guy with a dog. I think it is just the most charming thing so see a guy playing with his dog at the park.

5. I find the fifties so sexy. Maybe MadMen is having that effect on me, but I just find that era so fascinating.

By the way, I love Invisible Man. It happens to be an intriguing read, but it gets horribly depressing at times and hysterical the next page. I'm not meant for emotional rollercoasters!

Off-Topic Bits

2009-07-25T01:20:00.004-05:00

Yes, I've interrupted my 'feelings,' solely because they're a lot harder than you'd ever want to admit. Also, I got an iPhone and have fallen in love with the camera on it, so this will now signal the beginning of a real blog that lets you follow me around as I try to stay alive and entertained.

So, here is a picture of my one hundred year old grandfather and me out to dinner, notice the nose: every one that's related to him, and those before, have that nose.

Couage

2009-07-03T01:20:00.003-05:00

The world is an awful place, full of awful people and awful events. It mocks, debases, tarnishes the best of us. But then, spring comes, a new day brightens, and that sprig of hope appears. Faith that life isn't too bad, the flowers bloom, gorgeous, full, plentiful. Inevitably, the world darkens, the clouds let loose their fury, and life becomes oh so much more painful. Without relief. Without breaks. Without aid. And you sit and squirm and panic and lay in the mire of your frustrations. The beating that comes from life, those hidden insecurities, the backhanded compliments, the sarcastic cuts, have left a residue. Marring everything you see, hear, feel, touch.

In the morning your alarm rings. This awful monotonous noise that echoes throughout brushing your teeth and hair. Life is full of choices. From the second you become aware of that obnoxious buzz, you make the choice to snooze or wake up. Courage comes from even the tiniest of choices. It takes courage to face the day. It takes courage to throw out a trusty curling iron for the shiny, slightly pretentious one you bought on a whim the day before. Courage isn't just facing the dragon or talking to your ex, it happens to be so much more.

Courage isn't perfect. It provides entertainment for your enemies and fodder for the local gossip squad. We fail. And its absolutely awful. Failing is one of the worst things for a human being to face. Failure is the worst F word I've ever come in contact with. But courage drags us through, shoves us into situations, and never lets us forget to take pride in our decisions. Courage to stand up for yourself, the ones you love, and what you believe in happens to be one of the major gifts we receive in life, so treasure the marks.

Photo Credit

Patience

2009-07-01T23:03:00.002-05:00

Drumming fingers. Tapping feet. Tucking of hair behind an ear, discreetly. Feigned signs of patience. Bit lips, cheeks, tongues. We aren't patient. No one wishes to wait. Things should happen immediately. Wine shouldn't be better after twenty years, cheese shouldn't need to age, and certainly, we all want to grow up. Patience...a lie of a word meant to make things that take so long feel better, because patience is virtue, is it not? Patience isn't learned or obtained, simply tolerated.

Waiting for a bus, the sun to rise, the grass to grow. Life demands patience, no matter how we detest it. Yet, we feel such joy, accomplishment, pride when we wait out something without complaint. That burst, deep within, can be found as a source for the next wait, pause, halt. The world is simply too big for patience to not be a hot commodity. The patient ones fly of the shelves like hotcakes. If you can stand being yelled at for a bit, and not go home completely hating yourself, then surely you're got an ounce of patience? Or you're just in want of a paycheck...

Thirteen, Sixteen, Eighteen, Twenty-One. Milestones on the early road of life. We patiently wait year after year after year for the day when we can see a PG-13 movie, drive a car, vote for our leaders, and destroy our livers. These we require patience for, because the days are long, the months painful, and the years unendurable. The dread sets in further down the twisted path, when we've stumbled one too many times and our patience for the inevitable dwindles. How long until death tickles your ear, when patience is too much too ask?

Photo Credits

Purity

2009-06-29T00:16:00.004-05:00

A fresh blanket of snow covers the earth. The refreshed world slowly blinks awake, surprised by newly fallen crystals that twinkle to life while the sun, our star, glints off in rainbowed arcs of color. But with the soft layer comes a sense of newness. A purity unattainable in any other way from our earth. Snow brings memories of snow angels made with siblings, warm soup with parents, and a comfy night of coco with that special someone. Such pure, simple things hold no value, for the price would be entirely too great.

Pure white wedding gowns don't quite mean what they use to, but purity isn't just the color of a gown or how you've lived. Purity, is being able to wake up in the morning and enjoy every bit of the many minutes which follow that initial blink. Every peck on the cheek, every escaped giggle, and even those stolen cookies from the cookie jar above the fridge. Those little moments where negative thoughts disappear and life is just good, without fancy embellishments or gold trinkets, those are life at its purest. When things don't need to be perfect, but just simply charm their way through.

Fantasy speaks of unicorns, pure white horses with a definite phallic horn on its head. But fantasy has a way of being quite contrary, life is full of wonders and some contain the makings of a purely pure moment.

Photo Credit

Invincible

2009-06-27T22:59:00.004-05:00

On top of the world you stand. The highest mountain peak, the deepest ocean, the parched desert can't stop or belittle you. A thick hard shell surrounds you, protects you. You are untouchable. Undefeatable. Unbeakable. If every democracy or autocracy fails, when religion ceases to apply, and Newton is but a speck in a history book, you will stand as an immovable pillar. Even as the entire globe crumbles, you stand idly, looking down your nose, to see the damage be done. Because, you are invincible. Why should you take the chance of not being so? Why save the world when it hardly matters, when you will go on undamaged with or without? Why lift a finger to save something that can hardly be that special when it so effortlessly destructs? When nothing can touch you it becomes so painless to see everything in ruin. And for that simple reason, we can't be invincible. We, as humanity, must be touchable, beatable, killable. Without an inevitable end, life is taken for granted. Preciousness is lost. Lovingness gone. Kindness vanishes. Feelings that need to be cherished, lest they slip like grains of sand through our fingers, would disappear. Our wretched vulnerability is the key to our very humanness. Without it, we would be hard, cold shells with a layer of scales and a row of spikes.

Credit