Off-Topic Bits

Yes, I've interrupted my 'feelings,' solely because they're a lot harder than you'd ever want to admit. Also, I got an iPhone and have fallen in love with the camera on it, so this will now signal the beginning of a real blog that lets you follow me around as I try to stay alive and entertained. 

So, here is a picture of my one hundred year old grandfather and me out to dinner, notice the nose: every one that's related to him, and those before, have that nose. 

Couage

The world is an awful place, full of awful people and awful events. It mocks, debases, tarnishes the best of us. But then, spring comes, a new day brightens, and that sprig of hope appears. Faith that life isn't too bad, the flowers bloom, gorgeous, full, plentiful. Inevitably, the world darkens, the clouds let loose their fury, and life becomes oh so much more painful. Without relief. Without breaks. Without aid. And you sit and squirm and panic and lay in the mire of your frustrations. The beating that comes from life, those hidden insecurities, the backhanded compliments, the sarcastic cuts, have left a residue. Marring everything you see, hear, feel, touch. 

In the morning your alarm rings. This awful monotonous noise that echoes throughout brushing your teeth and hair. Life is full of choices. From the second you become aware of that obnoxious buzz, you make the choice to snooze or wake up. Courage comes from even the tiniest of choices. It takes courage to face the day. It takes courage to throw out a trusty curling iron for the shiny, slightly pretentious one you bought on a whim the day before. Courage isn't just facing the dragon or talking to your ex, it happens to be so much more.

Courage isn't perfect. It provides entertainment for your enemies and fodder for the local gossip squad. We fail. And its absolutely awful. Failing is one of the worst things for a human being to face. Failure is the worst F word I've ever come in contact with. But courage drags us through, shoves us into situations, and never lets us forget to take pride in our decisions. Courage to stand up for yourself, the ones you love, and what you believe in happens to be one of the major gifts we receive in life, so treasure the marks.

Photo Credit

Patience

Drumming fingers. Tapping feet. Tucking of hair behind an ear, discreetly. Feigned signs of patience. Bit lips, cheeks, tongues. We aren't patient. No one wishes to wait. Things should happen immediately. Wine shouldn't be better after twenty years, cheese shouldn't need to age, and certainly, we all want to grow up. Patience...a lie of a word meant to make things that take so long feel better, because patience is virtue, is it not? Patience isn't  learned or obtained, simply tolerated. 

Waiting for a bus, the sun to rise, the grass to grow. Life demands patience, no matter how we detest it. Yet, we feel such joy, accomplishment, pride when we wait out something without complaint. That burst, deep within, can be found as a source for the next wait, pause, halt. The world is simply too big for patience to not be a hot commodity. The patient ones fly of the shelves like hotcakes. If you can stand being yelled at for a bit, and not go home completely hating yourself, then surely you're got an ounce of patience? Or you're just in want of a paycheck...

Thirteen, Sixteen, Eighteen, Twenty-One. Milestones on the early road of life. We patiently wait year after year after year for the day when we can see a PG-13 movie, drive a car, vote for our leaders, and destroy our livers. These we require patience for, because the days are long, the months painful, and the years unendurable. The dread sets in further down the twisted path, when we've stumbled one too many times and our patience for the inevitable dwindles. How long until death tickles your ear, when patience is too much too ask?

Photo Credits